Why shoes are better than boyfriends?

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‘ Which Game of thrones character are you?’

‘Which Disney Princess are you?’

‘ 10 reasons why Kendall Jenner is better than Kylie Jenner? ‘

Every single morning Facebook greets me with cringe worthy Pulitzer  deserving articles like the ones above. How many people have the time and energy to actually read this kind of crappy literature?The answer is ,almost everybody .Yes, let us be honest here. There are few things in this world that everybody does but no one accepts.Like farting.If reports from highly verified sources are to be believed, the number of people who confess to first degree murder outnumber those who have confessed to farting. (Yeah I like making s**t up like this, apologies)

Anyway,getting back on track I was doing some mental math as to how many precious , potentially productive hours I waste on reading such noteworthy works of literature every single day. The figures got me gobsmacked. Any normal human would have sworn to  social media abstinence after getting knocked out due to the abysmal Facebook induced brain drain . But that’s not me, that’s not who I am…. I want revenge, I seek revenge and I will avenge.

Hell yeah! This made me realize that I am indebted to this society in a way. The society that created Facebook and made me waste thousands of man hours and grey cells into reading such eruditical masterpieces which when put into good use could have won my gradeophilic South Indian family an IITian  daughter, or so they would assume. But let us not dig graves , I thought. How am I going to repay this society that denied me a shot at IIT and possibly a Nobel prize. That’s when I decided I am going to write an article on “Why shoes are better than boyfriends?”

Reason 1:  Very high values of ROI

Unlike men. Countless dates to hip clubs,  bars and restaurants and being the alpha woman I am , always insist on splitting cards with my dates. Then one day, reality slaps me like a bitch making me realize that I have been dating a schmuck all the while. Wherein on the other hand,  the super sexy double platform heels that I bought from Aldo remains loyal to me even after two years of ups and downs , both in my life and on Indian roads.

Reason 2: You get to choose the length

Err…I meant the heel height.

Reason 3: If you see a better one, you can always own it

Actually I would contradict on this point. You can always have a better option…just ensure you secure your phone with a good password.

Reason 4: It hurts to bring the best out of you

Unlike men . You go on depression, weight loss and an ugly face. Sigh……

Reason 5: You get to dump it any time, (of course) with absolutely no hangups

Unlike men. Majority of who will go on a slandering mode creating a picture that would make people look at you and scream, ‘Hey that’s the monster on Insidious chapter 3’.

With this I would like to congratulate everybody who has reached reading till here. The article ends now and I would like to announce that you have successfully wasted two  minutes of your life by reading absolute crap. Join the club. This post is a tribute to all those people who write pointless blogs for reasons unfathomable to mankind.

By the way, I took the Disney princess test and found I’m princess Belle! Awwwww……

 

 

 

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