Fenty is Stronger

Over the years,  we have witnessed multiple instances of collaborations between musicians and fashion brands. Ideally fashion brands enter into such associations when they are trying to revamp or give some diversification to their brand, amongst many other reasons. The companies  choose influencers who would strongly resonate with the kind of personality they have envisioned for their brand. More often than not, these associations turn out to be a one-time affair and subsequently vanish into the darkest holes of history. This can be attributed to multiple reasons, the most popular one being, lack of any visible significance in the outcome of the collaboration. Such reviews occur due to poor relevancy between the two collaborators, lacking in thought and good judgement ultimately culminating in the rhetoric ,’What on earth is this celebrity doing with the brand?’. In today’s post I will be writing about two such fashion collabs which have caused much stir in the fashion industry in recent times.

People always prefer to start on a positive note. I beg to differ. The reason being , you can appreciate light only after experiencing the dark. You need a yardstick to compare how good is too good.

If being a successful rapper and a husband to a fame lusting social media queen are reasons enough for someone to become a fashion designer, then sorry folks, we are nearing the age of Fashion apocalypse. Expediting this apocalypse is the fact that Kanye’s show caused a lot newbie designers to reschedule their slots in NYFW to ensure maximum press coverage for his line. Hedonism personified, it may seem but it garnered front row audience in the ranks of Anna Wintour,  the high priestess of the fashion industry of our times. Coming to the designs, (should we even call them designs?) they seemed like creations  that would be perceived as an excuse in the name of fashion ,clearly lacking innovation , creativity or anything close to aesthetics. The show was a parade of miserable human beings which made us seem like we stepped into Trump’s worst nightmare- starving refugees. However, the line proved to be a commercial success with the Yeezy boots selling out in seconds after they went live. This also explains the brand’s collaboration with Kanye for the fourth time despite rantings from almost all major fashion powerhouses. Sadly in a deeply commercialised world , we have to believe in the vox  populi-opinions or beliefs of the majority. This can only be termed as a gross humiliation to fashion , further foddering the belief that fame and money can achieve anything. Nothing more, nothing less….poster_med0000000A.jpg

On the other hand, our bad gal RiRi once again went on to prove that she is the undisputed queen of swagger and badassery with her FentyXPuma line. I was particularly thrilled at her latest collection displayed in the  AW17 Paris fashion week . The line was themed ‘School kids gone rogue’ and ‘What would you wear to detention?’. Wow, how cool right? That’s so Rihanna! The collection mainly consisted of cropped hoodies (cropped enough to get you a detention), flannel skirts, full length puffer jackets, teddy bear backpacks and Rihanna’s favourite thigh high lace up boots. The collection screamed ‘Rihanna’ in its loudest tone. It was the perfect amalgamation of high school innocence coupled with wildness.The show was set in a bibliotheque which was in perfect sync with the line. This show would definitely  go down in history as one of the best collaborations that perfectly reverberated with the influencer’s personality without compromising on the brand’s ideology. To sum up, this collaboration is proof that we need more Rihannas and less Kanyes  in the world of fashion!

Some of my favorites from the show….

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Why shoes are better than boyfriends?

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‘ Which Game of thrones character are you?’

‘Which Disney Princess are you?’

‘ 10 reasons why Kendall Jenner is better than Kylie Jenner? ‘

Every single morning Facebook greets me with cringe worthy Pulitzer  deserving articles like the ones above. How many people have the time and energy to actually read this kind of crappy literature?The answer is ,almost everybody .Yes, let us be honest here. There are few things in this world that everybody does but no one accepts.Like farting.If reports from highly verified sources are to be believed, the number of people who confess to first degree murder outnumber those who have confessed to farting. (Yeah I like making s**t up like this, apologies)

Anyway,getting back on track I was doing some mental math as to how many precious , potentially productive hours I waste on reading such noteworthy works of literature every single day. The figures got me gobsmacked. Any normal human would have sworn to  social media abstinence after getting knocked out due to the abysmal Facebook induced brain drain . But that’s not me, that’s not who I am…. I want revenge, I seek revenge and I will avenge.

Hell yeah! This made me realize that I am indebted to this society in a way. The society that created Facebook and made me waste thousands of man hours and grey cells into reading such eruditical masterpieces which when put into good use could have won my gradeophilic South Indian family an IITian  daughter, or so they would assume. But let us not dig graves , I thought. How am I going to repay this society that denied me a shot at IIT and possibly a Nobel prize. That’s when I decided I am going to write an article on “Why shoes are better than boyfriends?”

Reason 1:  Very high values of ROI

Unlike men. Countless dates to hip clubs,  bars and restaurants and being the alpha woman I am , always insist on splitting cards with my dates. Then one day, reality slaps me like a bitch making me realize that I have been dating a schmuck all the while. Wherein on the other hand,  the super sexy double platform heels that I bought from Aldo remains loyal to me even after two years of ups and downs , both in my life and on Indian roads.

Reason 2: You get to choose the length

Err…I meant the heel height.

Reason 3: If you see a better one, you can always own it

Actually I would contradict on this point. You can always have a better option…just ensure you secure your phone with a good password.

Reason 4: It hurts to bring the best out of you

Unlike men . You go on depression, weight loss and an ugly face. Sigh……

Reason 5: You get to dump it any time, (of course) with absolutely no hangups

Unlike men. Majority of who will go on a slandering mode creating a picture that would make people look at you and scream, ‘Hey that’s the monster on Insidious chapter 3’.

With this I would like to congratulate everybody who has reached reading till here. The article ends now and I would like to announce that you have successfully wasted two  minutes of your life by reading absolute crap. Join the club. This post is a tribute to all those people who write pointless blogs for reasons unfathomable to mankind.

By the way, I took the Disney princess test and found I’m princess Belle! Awwwww……

 

 

 

Extreme Vetting

I always assumed that money and power can buy everything….Okay , if not everything , at least a great pair of shoes! Since a teenager,I used to imagine the day I would step into a Chanel store and shop like Blair Waldorf. Sadly at 26,I’m still watching Gossip Girl and hoping for that day to come. The closest I could get to the Upper east side is by watching Gossip Girl on Netflix. Besides all this ranting,to my great dismay, there are several people who, despite wielding an awfully insane amount of money and power, turn out to be complete schmucks when it comes to the f-word.( F being fashion). All they have to do is hire a good stylist and pay them well. Is that a lot of work? On that note, I decided that I’m gonna vet people who possess “great power and poor style”. These are the people who have perpetrated first degree sartorial crimes and no amount of good behavior can justify a parole to these “walking fashion halls of shame!!”

Angela Merkel:

The German chancellor has been on a self imposed sartorial exile, probably since the beginning of time. I once read somewhere that Merkel buys her own clothes. Sorry yo, your attempts at fashion are as catastrophic as your Greek bailout policy. She can always be spotted wearing trousers that are extra long and suits that are extra tight which further accentuate her nowhere-close-to-perfect  body. No matter how hard I try to exempt from body-shaming,  at one point I’m still human who can afford to err. I wish Merkel gets some divine intervention to dissolve her off her fashion crimes.

P.S: The low cut plunging disaster she wore to the Oslo Convention deserves a special mention here. Slow claps….

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However, I decided to give Angela a quick makeover.

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I feel shift dresses are a boon to older women with ‘realistic’ bodies. (Because not everybody is Sophia Vergara in this big fair world). A shift dress with the right fit and length can do wonders to elevate your look. Combine it with a pair of comfortable heels and a good tote and you are good to go! Is this too hard?

Click to shop: Shift dress / Nude pumps / Tote

Kim Jong-un:

He has the looks that will make you L a little extra OL but policies that Kill.He looks like the egg that never hatched. To me , he looks very palatable though. Now talking about fashion choices, our second exhibit can always be spotted wearing something  that looks like the result of a one night stand between an ugly suit and an uglier tunic.Can’t get meaner than that, can’t help either.  I mean, just take a look…

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What’s with the ugly length though? Oops I forgot about it’s tunic ancestry…

The Deflated Basketball:

Probably,  the most eligible contenders of all times for the top spot ….Before building a wall across the Mexican border, he should probably build a smaller one across his mouth to stop talking s***t. (Why did I even say this??). I’m not here to judge his presidential abilities (Did I just say ‘Abilities’?…Okay let us not get there) but considering the awful amount of money in his possession ,don’t you think he owes this world (to say the least) some good fashion? But anyway, I would give him a fair play award for consistent bad performance across all departments, from bilateral ties to extra long red ties.However this red tie is more functional than you and I could ever think. Here we go…

Benefits of wearing an extra long tie:

a) To gag that giant O shaped orifice in his face. Also called mouth.

b)To grab pussycats considering he is a germaphobe

c)To RED FLAG himself early November

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If you suggest any other benefits of the iconic red tie (Secured with scotch tape), then please write in the comments section below.

Until then,

XOXO

(Sorry, I’m watching Gossip Girl)